


The Basket

by probablydeadinside



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Anniversaries, Don't worry, F/M, Fluffy i hope, Oneshot, Percy's a Dork, Picnic, So much randomness, but annabeth still loves him, date afternoon, i'm not that evil, no one dies, percabeth, percy ruins date night, this was written as a dare by a friend so don't judge me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablydeadinside/pseuds/probablydeadinside
Summary: In my entire life as a demigod, I never thought that my files would read "Cause of death: basket." I mean, sure, we have difficult lives filled to the brim with pain, sorrow, and all of that other great stuff that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy.Oh. I guess I should probably introduce myself.My name is Percy Jackson, and this is the story of how I died.or: a common misconception in literature is that an author never kills the main character.(also posted on wattpad under smol-bri)





	The Basket

**Author's Note:**

> my cousin, kirstin, dared me to write a story with the words pineapple, bird, and trees in it.
> 
>  
> 
> written in percy's point of view, just like old times. enjoy.

It all started on my anniversary. I'd been dating this girl for _gods know_ how long, and we hadn't really gotten the chance to actually spend some time together away from our impending deaths.

 

But now we had _something_ , and we weren't going to let this time go to waste. The whole "war" thing seemed to be over (for now), so I kinda assumed we would be okay to go on a nice picnic.

 

Thanks to yours truly, we had a nice spot by a secluded lake about five miles from Camp. Admittedly, the lake was probably the least impressive part of the area (the mold and dead fish could approve of that message, if they were well enough to do it), but it had a nice view and I doubted that my girlfriend would complain.

 

The place sat at the top of a hill, overlooking a field of flowers. It was beautiful - but a glance at the girl next to me proved that even that could be beat.

 

Annabeth Chase. I could remember my first impression of her, back when we were only twelve years old. With her curly blond hair, she'd looked like a princess. One with an intimidating, fierce glare, with grey eyes so intense that a thunderstorm might have been brewing in them. The look in her eyes didn't scare me that much anymore, but on occasion, well...

 

As usual, she wore a standard Camp Half-Blood t-shirt (a bright orange number with the words "Camp Half-Blood" blazoned on the front) and worn light-blue shorts. (At one point, they had probably been jeans or something. You could tell that someone had cut them.) To anyone else, she would have been casual. Just...Annabeth.

 

But to me, she was drop-dead gorgeous. She always was. There was no "just" Annabeth - it was always... _Annabeth._

 

"Hey," She called, pulling me instantly out of my thoughts. "You okay, Seaweed Brain? You're staring."

 

"What? Oh," I shook my head, a small smile making its way onto my face. Back when we were younger, the nickname bothered me. A lot. Now it was just...a nickname. It was cool.

 

Okay, maybe not _cool,_ but you know what I mean.

 

"Yeah." I answered. "Just thinking."

 

"About?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Us."

 

"Us?" Annabeth leaned forward, a smile spreading across her face as well.

 

"Yeah, and how we're - " I reached into the picnic basket next to me, drawing out an orange and tossing it to her, " - sitting here, enjoying ourselves for the first time in a long time."

 

As usual, Annabeth caught the fruit like a pro. This girl could put _any_ catcher to shame. "Thanks. Did you bring - "

 

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Hold on." I peered into the basket again, rummaging around and throwing a few PB&J sandwiches (thanks, mom!) onto the blanket we sat on before whipping out a small container filled with pineapple slices. "Found it!" I announced, and tossed the container her way.

 

"Thanks, Percy." She started, but yelped when the contained opened mid-way, spilling pineapples all over her. Annabeth raised her gaze, a look of pure hatred filling her eyes. "Percy Jackson, you - "

 

So maybe I was wrong. I kinda _do_ get scared of her sometimes.

 

With the zeal of one who played softball for a professional...profession, Annabeth chucked the orange toward me. It was probably (not) going at fifty miles-per-hour, or something. That was _fast._

 

Naturally, I thought I was prepared. I thought that maybe, just maybe, after fighting hundreds of monsters, going through Tartarus and coming back, and all of my other achievements, I could catch an orange.

 

I was wrong.

 

I ducked to the side to avoid being smacked in the face by an orange, and the fruit flew past my head and right into the lake.

 

"Was that necessary!?" I asked incredulously.

 

"Yes." Annabeth simply replied, a frown on her face as she began to clean up the mess that - er, that _I_ made. "It was."

 

"Come on, that's not even fair!" I complained, glancing back at the lake and then back to her. "You could have summoned some spirit of the lake, or something." I paused for a moment, and then when Annabeth gave me a look like, 'Are you stupid?' I added, "You know, that's impossible. Never mind. We're - "

 

"Don't you dare." Annabeth started, a warning in her tone.

 

"What?" I frowned. "It's not like some psycho-crazy goddess is going to jump out of the lake, like, 'FOOLISH MORTALS! YOU'RE TOTALLY DEAD! I HAVE NO FILTRATION SYSTEM!' or - "

 

"Percy, you _know_ what happened with Harmonia in Monster Donut - " She began, but I cut her off.

 

"Come on, Annabeth, it's just - "

 

"FOOLISH MORTALS!" A voice boomed from behind me.

 

The look in Annabeth's eyes told me that I was going to have a lot of explaining to do when we got back to Camp.

 

"Percy," She started slowly and calmly, "turn around."

 

I did. I turned a complete one-eighty to see a feminine figure standing behind me. I could tell that she was definitely some kind of deity, or maybe the protector of the lake.

 

Her hair seemed to be made of kelp - or maybe it _was_ kelp. It was clumped together in long, green strands decked out with small critters that I really hoped didn't need water to survive. Her sickly-green skin was wrinkled as if she'd spent way too much time in the shower. But that wasn't the obvious part.

 

Her dress was made of fish. And i'm not talking 'Gaga-meat-dress' or anything. I mean _literally_. Her dress consisted of _living_ fish swimming around in endless circles.

 

She wore an mixed expression - one of annoyance, shock, and anger. That wasn't very reassuring, considering that she held a staff in one hand, at the top of which sat a live crab.

 

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THE SMELL OF ORANGES OUT IN THE NEXT CENTURY?" Fish lady asked. She sounded as if she was trying to speak underwater. Muffled and annoyed. "THIS POOL HAS NO FILTRATION SYSTEM. THERE WILL BE NO TOURISTS IN THE NEXT TEN DECADES!"

 

"Um," I started, "look, Ms. Lady-of-the-Lake we didn't mean to pollute your lake, but - "

 

"AAH!" She screeched. Honestly, if I could hook this lady up for a screamo contract, I would do it. She'd make a great living off of that. "I am _not_ the Lady of the Lake! _Amphitrite_ is more along that line. Even as an old goddess, I _never_ get any credit! No appreciation!" Fish lady paused. "I think I'll just kill you now." She pointed the crab-staff in our direction and -

 

"Wait!" Annabeth cried, giving the goddess a bright and apologetic smile. "What we meant is that...well, someone as beautiful as you is _sure_ to be mistaken for Amphitrite herself." She paused for a moment to give me withering glare, almost as if daring me to speak. (Man, I love this girl.) "Couldn't we at least have the honor of knowing who's planning to kill us, before we die?"

 

Fish lady scoffed. At _us._ "Doris! I am the mighty Doris!"

 

"Dori?" I blurted, a grin breaking out onto my face. I'm sorry. I know it was a bad situation, but I couldn't help it. "Your name is Dori? Like - like _Finding Nemo Dori?"_

 

"DORIS!" The goddess howled, slamming her staff onto the surface of the lake and sending dead fish flying out of the water. They hit the ground with a very unsavory 'thud.'

 

I turned to look at Annabeth, who was giving me that look again. "Sorry." I mouthed.

 

She just scowled.

 

Doris, again, pointed her staff at us. "You first pollute my lake - then you mistake me for Amphitrite - and now you would dare to insult me with the name of a _nymph?"_

 

"What?" I asked. "No! No, man. Dori isn't a nymph, she's a fish! A really cool one, too - "

 

"SILENCE!" Doris ordered. Needless to say, when I goddess tells you to shut your mouth, you usually do it. This was one of those times.

 

What happened next was a blur. Later, the scene would be replayed for me. My final moments, before -

 

Pffft, are you kidding? Did you see the look on your face? Totally got you there.

 

Honest, though. It was all a blur. Later, the scene would be recounted for me.

 

The clear stuff? It went a little like this:

 

Annabeth had turned to me, and was probably about to say something really clever, like, "Run!" when something flew out of nowhere, slamming into my stomach and sending me flying about five feet away and onto the grass. Thankfully, I didn't roll off the hill. That would've been bad.

 

"Percy!" I heard Annabeth scream my name, and slowly got to my feet. I had hardly enough time to register what was happening when something that looked disturbingly like a picnic basket clipped the side of my head, sending me sprawling back onto the ground, groaning. My vision swam. It was like everything was swallowed by darkness. Consciousness went in and out.

 

I might've blacked out a couple of times, but when I could see somewhat clearly, Annabeth was kneeling beside me, clutching one of my hands and calling my name. It sounded like she was crying.

 

I blinked a few times, but that didn't clear my vision completely. That was where things got fuzzy. It might've just been my imagination, but it looked as if there was a giant bird flying in circles overhead. Maybe it was trying to get to its nest.

 

_Tough luck. I thought, a small laugh forcing its way out. There are no trees near here._

 

"Percy?" Annabeth said slowly. Had I laughed out loud? Whoops. The thought forced another small laugh out of me. "Percy, hang on. You've got a nasty cut on the side of your head. Stupid picnic basket. I - I called for help, they're sending some - "

 

She told me that I stopped responding at that point. When I woke up again, I was at Camp, in my own cabin. It was as if nothing had happened. The only trace I could find of the incident happening was a bandage wrapped around my head, and a note on top of the bags that sat next to my bed, and it read:

 

_"Percy,_

_Meet me at the Big House when you wake up. We need to talk._

_Annabeth."_

 

I sighed. I guess I'd ruined our anniversary.

 

Again.


End file.
